Marriage & Family

Marriage and Family is the youth’s topic for the month of August. Truly one of the most beautiful doctrines of the Church is the doctrine of the family. How blessed we are to have that doctrine defined by prophets of God. Speaking about when President Gordon B. Hinckley first read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Bonnie L. Oscarson said, “We were grateful for and valued the clarity, simplicity, and truth of this revelatory document. Little did we realize then how very desperately we would need these basic declarations in today’s world as the criteria by which we could judge each new wind of worldly dogma coming at us from the media, the Internet, scholars, TV and films, and even legislators. The proclamation on the family has become our benchmark for judging the philosophies of the world. We need to boldly defend the Lord’s revealed doctrines describing marriage, families, the divine roles of men and women, and the importance of homes as sacred places—even when the world is shouting in our ears that these principles are outdated, limiting, or no longer relevant. Everyone, no matter what their marital circumstance or number of children, can be defenders of the Lord’s plan described in the family proclamation. If it is the Lord’s plan, it should also be our plan!” Sister Oscarson then issued us this challenge: "Let us help build the kingdom of God by standing up boldly and being defenders of marriage, parenthood, and the home. The Lord needs us to be brave, steadfast, and immovable warriors who will defend His plan and teach the upcoming generations His truths.”1

Julie B. Beck issued a similar challenge. “Teach the rising generation the doctrine of the family. They need to understand the threats to the family so they will know what they are fighting against and can prepare. … Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is anti-family is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear. If our youth don’t understand their part in the plan, they could be led away.”2

Those quotes are such great reminders as we answer the questions asked in this month’s outline.

Why is family important? The family proclamation teaches, “The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”3 In his last general conference address, L. Tom Perry proudly declared “What the restored gospel brings to the discussion on marriage and family is so large and so relevant that it cannot be overstated: we make the subject eternal! We take the commitment and the sanctity of marriage to a greater level because of our belief and understanding that families go back to before this earth was and that they can go forward into eternity. Family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.”4

Sister Beck emphasized, “Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life.”2

Why is temple marriage important? Simply stated, President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Since life is eternal—and that is absolutely certain—true marriage must also be eternal. … Eternal marriage cannot be had outside of the temple.”5

Why is chastity important? Elaine S. Dalton taught, “Protect, shield, and defend moral purity because the power to create mortal life is a sacred and exalted power and must be safeguarded until you are married. Virtue is a requirement to have the companionship and guidance of the Holy Ghost. You will need that guidance in order to successfully navigate the world in which you live. Being virtuous is a requirement to enter the temple. And it is a requirement to be worthy to stand in the Savior’s presence. You are preparing now for that time.”6 Speaking about virtue a BYU Devotional, Sister Dalton said, “I believe that the lack of virtue in our society is directly responsible for many of our social, financial, and governmental ills. I believe that the disintegration of faith and families and the financial unrest are directly related to a lack of virtue in our society. And I believe that a return to virtue could save an entire nation.”7 Russell M. Nelson reminds us, “Your body is the temple for your spirit. And how you use your body affects your spirit.8

Why is it important to follow the Church’s standards regarding dating? Boyd K. Packer taught, “How foolish is the youth who feels that the Church is a fence around love to keep him out. Oh, youth, if you could know! The requirements of the Church are the highway to love and to happiness, with guardrails securely in place, with guideposts plainly marked, and with help along the way. How unfortunate to resent counsel and restraint. How fortunate are you who follow the standards of the Church, even if just from sheer obedience or habit. You will find a rapture and a joy fulfilled.”9 How can I prepare now to become a righteous wife and mother (or husband and father)? Neill F. Marriott said, “The decisions you make today affect not only your future but also your children’s future. If you want to teach your children how to be happy, you have to learn how to be happy now. If you want to teach in your home, you need to look at what you’re putting into your head and your heart now. If you really want a happy, faithful home, now is the time to prepare. Now is the time to be your best self.”10

How do the roles of men and women complement each other in families? The family proclamation states, “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”3 Linda K. Burton compared our differences as men and women to hands. She said, “Our two hands are similar to each other but not exactly the same. In fact, they are exact opposites, but they complement each other and are suited to each other. Working together, they are stronger. She reminds us, “We need each other! As covenant-keeping women and men, we need to lift each other and help each other become the people the Lord would have us become.”11

How can I strengthen my family? We can each strengthen our family when we do our part to make home is a safe, happy place to be. Marvin J. Ashton said it best! “Home should be the place in which a person can unburden his soul and find renewed strength to face the world, where there is comfort, joy, and understanding, where best friends live, and where we can learn to be our best selves.

“Home should be an anchor, a port in a storm, a refuge, a happy place in which to dwell, a place where we are loved and where we can love. Home should be where life’s greatest lessons are taught and learned.”12

We know Satan is waging a mighty war. We know the family is his major target. Preserving and protecting the family is our sacred responsibility. Our actions matter. Perhaps nowhere do they matter more than in our homes. Sister Beck encourages us to “live in your homes, in your families, in your marriages so that youth will develop hope for eternal life from watching you. Live and teach with so much clarity that what you teach will cut through all the noise youth are hearing and so that it will pierce their hearts and touch them. Live in your home so that you’re brilliant in the basics, so that you’re intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family. Think in terms of precision not perfection. If you have your goals and you are precise in how you go about them in your homes, youth will learn from you. They will learn that you pray, study the scriptures together, have family home evening, make a priority of mealtimes, and speak respectfully of your marriage partner. Then from your example the rising generation will gain great hope.” She warns, “We all need to understand the threats to the family. If we don’t, we can’t prepare for the battle. … This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it.”2

The doctrine of the family is clearly outlined in the family proclamation! We need to know and love this prophetic declaration which is, as President Hinckley reminded us, “a proclamation to the Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets, seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout its history. We commend to all a careful, thoughtful, and prayerful reading of this proclamation. The strength of any nation is rooted within the walls of its homes. We urge our people everywhere to strengthen their families in conformity with these time-honored values.”13

My hope is that, as M. Russell Ballard called upon members of the Church everywhere to do, we can “hold fast to the family proclamation, to make it a banner not unlike General Moroni’s ‘title of liberty,’ and to commit ourselves to live by its precepts.”14