Beware of Pride!

“Pride does not look up to God and care about what is right. It looks sideways to man. . . . It is self-will as opposed to God’s will. It is the fear of man over the fear of God. Humility responds to God’s will - to the fear of His judgments and to the needs of those around us. To the proud, the applause of the world rings in their ears; to the humble, the applause of heaven warms their hearts.” Those are President Benson's words, found in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church - Ezra Taft Benson, Lesson 18. The lesson comes from two of President Benson's conference talks, "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" given in April 1986 and "Beware of Pride" given in April 1989.

President Benson said, "Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves." Oh how true! He also taught that the antidote for pride is humility. Well, it seems that recently I needed a huge dose of humility. I have always believed, and taught my children, that outward appearances don't really matter. It is what is inside that counts. However, my actions seemed to be speaking otherwise. To give a brief background to the story, my son had started dating a cute girl a few months earlier. She is quiet and shy - something our family is NOT! She is also a different religion. So I am sure being around our family was, at the very least, intimidating. It took a little while before she came to family things. We had two wedding receptions within one week that we attended and she graciously accompanied my son. I am sure that was overwhelming, but she came! This is where my pride got the best of me. She wore a skirt that was shorter than I was comfortable with. I had a few people ask me about my son's new girlfriend and I automatically assumed their disapproval. Real or perceived, I felt my son was being judged. Unfortunately I let my concern with how others might view him (or probably how they might view me) cause some real discord in my family. And however well-intentioned my "concern" was, I was letting the fear of what other people may or may not think control me. I let my son know that it would be a lot better if her dress was more "appropriate." I was unfairly expecting her to understand and follow the standards of modesty I had taught my children. My "discussions" with my son were a bit contentious. I was jeopardizing my relationship with my son because of my preoccupation with the perception of others. I knew something had to change! I had already been expressing my concern to Heavenly Father, asking Him to help me know how make things better with my son. Now my concern turned to pleading. Well, when we sincerely ask, Heavenly Father will answer. And answer He did. In my evening prayer and then again in my morning prayer, I really poured out my heart. I told Heavenly Father I really needed direction. As I read my scriptures that morning, the words on the page contained a great chastisement - to me! Ironically I had highlighted those same passages before because I considered them important, but more in a general way not a personal way. But on this morning, those words were very personal! They were Heavenly Father's answer to me. Pride was my problem! I was reading in Alma, Chapter 4. I have italicized the words in verses 8 through 10 that taught me what Heavenly Father wanted me to know.

8 For they saw and beheld with great sorrow that the people of the church began to be lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and to set their hearts upon riches and upon the vain things of the world, that they began to be scornful, one towards another, and they began to persecute those that did not believe according to their own will and pleasure.

9 And thus, in this eighth year of the reign of the judges, there began to be great contentions among the people of the church; yea, there were envyings, and strife, and malice, and persecutions, and pride, even to exceed the pride of those who did not belong to the church of God.

10 And thus ended the eighth year of the reign of the judges; and the wickedness of the church was a great stumbling-block to those who did not belong to the church; and thus the church began to fail in its progress.

I knew I had to make things right. So, as the old saying goes, I swallowed my pride. I called my son. And what a sweet experience that was! I have always appreciated the fact that my children have been willing to quickly forgive me when I have wronged them. Through my sobs, I truly apologized that I had let my pride control my thoughts and my actions. I shared with him the scriptures I had read earlier that morning. I told him that I was wrong to have, as verse 9 says, "persecute[d] those that did not believe according to [my] will and pleasure." He told me it was okay. No, it wasn't okay! And it hadn't been okay. But I could and would make it okay!

Proverbs 3:11-12 says, "Despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth." I am not proud of how I behaved, that's for sure! I am, however, very grateful that the Lord loves me enough to correct me. I am also very grateful that my son loves me enough to forgive me!

This humbling lesson reminded me of my complete reliance on the Lord! Joseph B. Wirthlin put it so beautifully when he said, "Humility is the recognition and attitude that one must rely on the Lord’s assistance to make it through this life. We cannot endure to the end on our own strength. Without Him, we are nothing."

Neal A. Maxwell taught that, "Only by aligning our will with God's is true happiness found." He also taught that by submitting our will to God we rid our lives of pride. In his October 1992 LDS General Conference talk, he said:

"Consecration is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and emancipation from the dark prison of pride. . . . But is being consecrated and “swallowed up” a threat to our individuality? No! Heavenly Father is only asking us to lose the old self in order to find the new and the real self. It is not a question of losing our identity but of finding our true identity!

When, at last, we are truly pointed homeward, then the world’s pointing fingers of scorn can better be endured. As we come to know to Whom we belong, the other forms of belonging cease to mean very much. Likewise, as Jesus begins to have a real place in our lives, we are much less concerned with losing our places in the world. When our minds really catch hold of the significance of Jesus’ atonement, the world’s hold on us loosens."

In the October 2014 LDS General Conference, Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave an amazing talk! Although it was given during the Priesthood Session, it is definitely applicable to everyone! Here is one of my favorite parts of that talk:

"None of us likes to admit when we are drifting off the right course. Often we try to avoid looking deeply into our souls and confronting our weaknesses, limitations, and fears. consequently, when we do examine our lives, we look through the filter of biases, excuses, and stories we tell ourselves in order to justify unworthy thoughts and action.

But being able to see ourselves clearly is essential to our spiritual growth and well-being. If our weaknesses and shortcomings remain obscured in the shadows, then the redeeming power of the Savior cannot heal them and make them strengths. Ironically, our blindness toward our human weaknesses will also make us blind to the divine potential that our Father yearns to nurture within each of us.

So how can we shine the pure light of God’s truth into our souls and see ourselves as He sees us?

May I suggest that the holy scriptures and the talks given at general conference are an effective mirror we can hold up for self-examination.

As you hear or read the words of the ancient and modern prophets, refrain from thinking about how the words apply to someone else and ask the simple question: 'Lord, is it I?'

We must approach our Eternal Father with broken hearts and teachable minds. We must be willing to learn and to change. And, oh, how much we gain by committing to live the life our Heavenly Father intends for us.

Those who do not wish to learn and change probably will not and most likely will begin to wonder whether the Church has anything to offer them.

But those who want to improve and progress, those who learn of the Savior and desire to be like Him, those who humble themselves as a little child and seek to bring their thoughts and actions into harmony with our Father in Heaven—they will experience the miracle of the Savior’s Atonement. They will surely feel God’s resplendent Spirit. They will taste the indescribable joy that is the fruit of a meek and humble heart. They will be blessed with the desire and discipline to become true disciples of Jesus Christ."

After my recent experience, that is even more meaningful! We all need to be willing to ask, "Lord, is it I?" so that the miracle of the Savior's Atonement can work in our lives.